I've started Month 9. And it's been nothing but depressing. Today I had my appt. and no dilation, no effacement, my cervix is tipped, i have high blood pressure & a high heart rate. long story short, im frustrated. my body from the very beginning tried to get this baby out, and i've tried to stay pregnant, which i did, but now that I can have the baby, it doesn't want to let it out. haha.
THIS IS WHAT I STARTED TO WRITE FOR MONTH 9... BUT NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO FINISH IT.
how dramatic am i?
hahaha
no really though, my pregnancy sucked.
to finish month 9... I went into labor 2 weeks early (on labor day) ha. contractions were two minutes apart, I was dilated to a 4.5 and 80% effaced. We grabbed our bags and rushed to the hospital... I was in pain, but not excruciating pain on the way... once we got to the hospital the pain got worse & worse. After 6 hours of being in the hospital... from 11pm to 5am i hadn't changed at all. So they decided to send me home. Gave me pain meds for the pain and that was it. I was having on and off contractions after that for the whole week, my induction date was set for September 6th.
sweet daddy, talking to remi.
when i went into labor 2 wks early
NOW THE BIRTHING STORY :) ---
September 6th came. We went in at 7am. I was so nervous! I have never been induced before so i was freaking out. We arrived at the american fork hospital, got to the delivery room, opened up the blinds and we had the perfect view of the timpanogas temple. As soon as i saw our view & the temple... a huge relief came over me and I knew that despite my 1000 pregnancy problems, everything was going to be okay. This also was my first delivery with just Jordan & I. My whole family was out of town and couldnt be there to see my baby. Jordan's family was busy as well... besides his dad & step-mom. :) So, it was weird for me to experience it with just jordan and i in the room. I wouldn't change that for the world. It was a total different bonding experience. I loved it.
Once we got all settled in and such, they started the pitocin at about 7:45. about 20-30 minutes later I started to feel them come on and start to be uncomfortable... not terrible though. The nurse told me I could get the epidural anytime I wanted. I waited probably another 30 mintues and then asked for the epidural. At about 9:00 he came in. The epidural was just a lot of pressure. I don't really remember getting them with my other two cause I was in so much pain. This time around the pain wasn't unbearable so it was weird to actually remember the epidural. It was wonderful though. and totally PERFECT! I finally got the perfect epidural! with shailee, too strong. I couldn't feel a thing. Ty- It didn't work. I felt everything. This time, It still allowed me to move a little bit and feel things without it hurting. It was AMAZING!
I got checked after the epidural, they broke my water, put in the cathader, and I was at a 6. The dr told me he would come back and check on me in about an hour. He came back at 10 and was still about a 6. so he said he would come back in another hour and told him to call the nurse if I started feeling any pressure. 10:30 I started feeling like I had to push, but decided to wait to make sure. 10:45 I was like ok, I really need to push. We called the nurse, she came into check me, we didn't think anything of it. Then she said, OH ALRIGHT LETS GET THIS BABY OUT. I was like wait, what am i at? and she says your a 10. let me get the dr., and lets get this baby out. I went from a 6 to a 10 in a half hour. Jordan and I looked at each other and his face went white. I'm sure mine was white as well.
we were like shiz. here we go! got the video camera rollin, jordan had the camera around his neck. Dr came in got everything all set up, I pushed for about 5 minutes, and out came our little Remi Jo at 11:13 am. She was 7lbs 2.6 oz --- 7lbs 3oz (they round it up) and 19 inches long. And so BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!
My heart was pounding so fast. Everything from pregnancy on went through my mind all at once as they were drying her off and laying her on my chest. Every pain, every worry about losing her (which the chances of her miscarrying were high), every day I was on bed rest, all made sense. This little girl was supposed to be here, and it was necessary for me to go through all those pains to appreciate what I had in my arms. I started to cry. There was nothing in that moment that mattered more than her. I looked at my husband. His eyes were starting to water and he had the biggest smile on his face. I hadn't seen him that happy in so long. His baby girl was finally here. I'm so grateful we didn't lose her when I was pregnant. I can't imagine not being gah gah over her soft brown hair, loving on her long long fingers and toes, looking into those squinty "daddy" eyes, and kissing those sweet little lips.
Heavenly Father has blessed me so much with my kids, and allowing me to keep this pregnancy and raise such a beautiful daughter, I am forever grateful for that. As soon as she came out, Jordan was like, I think we could do this one more time. I agreed. (don't worry, we've already changed our minds after no sleep and being home with 3 kids, haha) BUT those are the feelings you feel when you see a miracle. You want to experience it over & over, because the feeling is NOTHING you have ever felt before. The kids came to visit her... Ty didn't love her so much, and Shailee was ready to take her to show and tell at school. haha. But they both have warmed up to her and love giving her kisses and hugs non-stop.
Shailee's first time seeing & holding remi
Ty staring at remi, not sure what to think
he didn't like it haha
aunt shy shy
aunt jacee
we were a little tired.
Remi is now two weeks and we love her so much. She has been such a blessing to our family. I love spending time with her, because I know it will go quickly. So we are using our time with her very wisely, and loving on her as much as we can. because for now... and 99.9% likely, she will be our last baby. And if that is the plan heavenly father has in store for us, then we are forever grateful for that.
We love you Remi Jo Raby.
